Thoughts Then And Thoughts Now.

Then...being about a year ago.

What bar will I go to tonight?
What kind of guy will I meet?
Will I get laid?
Will I wake up on time for work?
Do I have enough cigarettes to make it through my drinking night?
Am I drinking beer, liquor, or how about both?


Now...Being Well, Now and Future.

I'm lucky to have him in my life.
I love my Little Girl, Abigail.
What will the earth be like, physically, in 10-20 years?
How much do I need to save to go to Italy?
How does the microwave ACTUALLY work?(Believe it or not, I know the answer).
I know the steps I need to take to better my life and theirs, and i'm taking them.
I can't wait for fall semester.
I love the feeling of standing up for myself.
I am appreciated.
What do I want out of life?
Will we get married?
How many kids are we going to have?
I contribute to the world, in a positive way.

I can't say that "he" is the only reason I grew up, but he's definitely been a great supporter and "pusher"...for me to go into the right direction. I'm not terrified anymore. I have him by my side and everyday I find a new love and appreciation for him.

I want to be a wife and mother, someday. First, I want to have a career, a marriage, and I want to have my life sorted out. I want to travel places with "him". I want to enjoy "us", before we have a family. I want to work, build a life, and be a strong woman for my future husband and kids. I have the world in my hands, now I just need to grasp and love it.

Last year, I didn't think about my goals, I thought about my dreams. Sounds odd, but to me, it makes total sense.

Wilco, Bubbles, and Wine.

This hasn'tbeen the easiest week of my life. I've had a million eye opening experiences...no joke. I've cried, laughed, loved, hated, yelled, pissed, moaned, and laughed again.

I reached my breaking point yesterday.

After a long day at the office, I cried the whole way home. I quickly contained myself before my boyfriend came home. We talked once he did. He's amazing. He always knows what to say to keep me thinking straight. To keep me going. I am blessed to have him in my life.

Today, I woke up cheerful. Once I got to work, it all went down hill.

I'm quitting my job in January. I'm moving on. I've been here for 3 and a half years. Change terrifies me, but I have changed so much this year. I figure, now's the time to get it done. So, i'm doing it.

The holidays have me stressed, man. Not money. Just stressed with family and stuff. Ugh...Can't we just skip it?