Scentsy Consultant

I am now a scentsy consultant. Scentsy warmers are seriously the BEST form of candles. They're decorative, fresh, fun and you can change the fragrance whenever you'd like. If you want to check it out, my website is www.scentsy.com/5885. You can look at the catalog online and all of my contact information is on my consultant page. They can ship right to your house or I can deliver them locally. So, check them out and if you're interested in becoming a consultant or just want to order the products call me or email me. Like I said, all of my info is on my consultant page.

Thank you all for the support you offer in my new business venture.

Best wishes,
Tiffani.

Close You Eyes and View Yourself....♥

When I looked at him, I just knew. I'd done something terrible. Unintentionally terrible, I might add.

I've been so worried about losing the love of my life that it was actually pushing him further away. Everything he said, just kind of clicked. I'm being too needy! I'm being too worried! I am not the girl he fell in love with!

This morning, I woke up, and took a breath. It's going to be okay. I'm going to laugh, live, and love today. I'm going to laugh, live and love myself, rather. I'll still love him, but i'm letting him be him while I "regroup" myself. It's going to be a hard road, but i'm up for the challenge.

On the job front, I got a REJECTION email this morning. I could have cried, but I didn't. I went on another interview today. So, I checked in with the guy. His reply was fast and POSITIVE. "We are very impressed by you. I have one more interview and i'll be scheduling the day for you to come back in and do the second interview"! Phew! That lifted me. No reason to get down when one doesn't work out. Move on to the next, right? Well, I am.

An hour later, I spoke to a friend at the company I got the rejection from and it turns out, I wasn't actually rejected. I got a letter from the corporate office, but the local office hadn't made any decisions yet. Phew! Number 2.

I'm staying strong, sticking it out and figuring it out.

I'm changing for myself, my love, my baby girl, and my future.

I'm A Mess...

I just wrote a blog, thought I deleted it, decided to start new, deleted the header and actually realized that I didn't delete anything at all.

Basically, i haven't heard back from either job interviews, but i'm still confident.

My life is a mess right now. My mood has been so awful lately. I've taken things out on Chad that I shouldn't have.

Today, i'm depressed. Yesterday, I picked myself up and laughed a ton. This morning, and afternoon, I can't place my mood. I feel like i've let myself down. I feel like i've done some damage. To myself and my best friend.

I'm staying as strong as possible, but I just want my bed and my tears. Although, I want that feeling of the things I want to go away. I don't want to mope and lay in bed. I want to go back in time, maybe just a few weeks, but I know I can't. So, i'm facing the day....everyday.

Today, It Just Feels Too Hard...

Alone, at my desk, crying.....

Tears of joy...are all that are coming from my eyes.

As of this morning, this is all I felt:

Last night, I came home to a flat tire, a nail got it. So, on top of the lack of money, I now have to worry how to pay for this tire. I still don't have a new job. AND every interview/resume response, didn't work out. I've been sinking into the dark hole of depression(explained in my last blog). I was beginning to be positive and happy. Then, my tire really just bursted my bubble.

As of 3 o'clock mountain time....I can't stop crying.

I received a phone call on a job i've been DYING to hear from. My initial phone interview went so well. So well that, I have an interview on TUESDAY. WOOT. then, I get an email from another employer for a great opportunity that I submitted my resume for THIS MORNING. I'll be interviewing with him on MONDAY. Last but not least, my dad took my tire in this afternoon and it was under warranty and replaced for FREE.

I now just feel so grateful that i've been patient. I can feel it paying off. The only tears I can muster are of pure bliss. Knowing that I am going to succeed and god...AND the power of my mind set are pushing me in the BEST of directions.


I say this now "All of my patience, hardwork, dedication, are paying off. I now get to CHOOSE what I WANT...NOT take WHAT I NEED".

I'll be commenting on all of the new posts from my fellow bloggers tomorrow.

Wishing you all well.

Remember when I was funny, happy, sweet, and extremely charming?

Yep, believe it. I was.

Okay, in all fairness, I still am those things. Except, they've gone into hiding.

I've been stressed beyond belief lately. I don't pay any "household" bills. I pay MY bills and that's it. My bills total a measley $532 a month. Pretty low, right? I make roughly 3-4 times that a month. Well, it's taken me 6 months to get the handle on my bills. Now that I have, they'll never be high again. Anyways, so I feel like i'm not contributing enough, financially. So, from this pay period on, i'll be putting my money in the bank to pay my bills and the rest into Chad's. Becaue that way, at least I'll feel like i'm helping out.

Weights lifted off my sholders...1

Secondly, i've been stressed about my weight. See, I have a boyfriend. My boyfriend's dad has a boat. I, however, look awful in a bathing suit. Okay, maybe not completely awful, but I could look better. So, i've been watching what I eat more. Surprise to me, i've actually gone down a few pounds. 5 to be exact. I was 150 when I met Chad. 3 months after, I was 138. As of today, i'm 133. My summer "goal" is to be to 120. No problem there.

Weights lifted....2

Last, but never least, my attitude is now being left at the door. I've been so worried about NOT getting a new job, losing Chad, and trying to be perfect. When Chad said to me, "Stop being afraid of losing me, you HAVE me", I was floored. With that, came tears of sadness, joy, and confusion. Why am I being so neurotic? Why am I not being that "Happy Tiff" that people like? Where did I fall? Why did I fail?

The answer to all of the questions couldn't have come sooner. I'd like to make a reference to "the secret" now. The secret, although I've never seen it, basically states "mind set over matter". If you think bad things are going to happen, they will. Lately, only negative thoughts have come to my mind. Well, if I want to be happy...."IF" has to come out of my dictionary and be replaced with "WHEN".

So, i'm leaving you all with some of my own "WHEN" statements:

When I get a new job, i'll be so happy and we'll be financially great.

When I get into that teeny tiny bikini, i'll be satisfied.

When I look in the mirror, I'll always see how beautiful I am.

When i'm 65 sitting with Chad on our porch(in our matching rocking chairs with beautiful grandkids playing in the yard), i'll know I made my life was all it was supposed to be.

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL OF THE LOVE AND SUPPORT YOU'VE ALL GIVEN ME DURING THIS "TRYING" TIME. IT'S DUALLY NOTED AND MUCH APPRECIATED.

Dear Brain

Dear Brain,

Stop being so self conscious of who you are.

You are..

Beautiful

Smart

Fun

Amazing

and

Loved

It's hard to be with you when you're so neurotic. Girls text him, yes. Have you looked at the man you love? He's gorgeous and girls will always want what you have. He's been an amazing addition to your life and you're lucky to have him.

If you don't stop this bitchiness, you may lose him. He texts with girls and there's nothing you can do. It doesn't mean he wants them. It just means that he's bored at work, talking for entertainment, and just maintaining a friendship.

He loves you. You see it when he looks at you. He whispers it to you when he wakes up to YOUR alarm at 5AM, and even though it's an hour and a half before he has to get up, it doesn't bother him one bit. He makes sure you are taken care of. He pays the bills, he lets you live in his house, and he's with you 100% of the "off work" time. Don't get angry if he talks to another girl 1% of that time.

Don't forget about the love you have for him. Ignore the other girls. They're just that, girls. You're the woman, the woman he wants to be with. Forget all of the BS and remember the man you love. Keep the love together. This is the man that you are born to be with, so be with him. Don't let whores affect that. They're nothing, and honey, you are EVERYTHING TO HIM.

All of the love in the world,
Your Hearts♥

Can I please speak to you for a minute?

Hi. I need to speak with you.

I've been thinkng about life a lot lately. Trying to decipher the word "friend". Now, the word friend means-"one attached to another by affection or esteem". That's better than any way I could describe the word friends. So, we'll stick with it.


Now, in all of my podering, I've realized that I have a handful of friends. Not a big handful, a small one. There are people in my life that want what's best for me. They care about me. They ask how my life is going. They ask how my boyfriend and little girl are doing. They don't pass judgement too fast when given a situation. They want to be a part of my future. They show that they want a part in my future. And I do all the same for them.

That's what you call a friend. A person who cares.

I also know my fake friends from my real friends. I don't talk to my fake friends, obviously. Nor, do I have them ANYWHERE in my life. What's the point of having someone in your life that you know talks badly of you, makes fun of you, and then shows up in your face to play nicely? I don't quite get the "fake friend" concept. If I think someone's a piece of shit or a person I don't want in my life, I let it be known. I don't know for sure why people sugar coat everything. In Utah, I see that so much. I just wonder if it's different everywhere else.

What I do know for sure is, I've met the man of my dreams. He's my best friend, the love of my life, and the man I was born to spend my life with. He's real, honest, and to the point. He never hurts my feelings or bad mouths me to his friends. His friends and family all think i'm perfect, because he portrays me that way. He's more perfect than I could ever dream of, but sometimes, I don't give him the credit he deserves. I can't wait to spend my life with my best friend ever. We're going to have the sweetest puppies, make beautiful blonde-headed babies, and live our lives happily.

Because we are choosing to live our lives the way we want.

I've Been Tagged...♥

Miss Suzie has tagged me.

Here are the Rules:
1.Link to the person that tagged you
2.Post the rules on your blog
3.Share six non-important things/habits/quirks about yourself
4.Tag six random people at the end of your post by linking to their blogs
5.Let each random person know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their website.

First-I have a weird quirk with numbers. I don't like odd numbers, except #5, AT ALL. No matter what it is, I always have to have a 5 or an even number. If not, I do WHATEVER it takes to get it that way.

Second-I worry all too much. Even the smallest things, I worry about. It's actually very pathetic, but I can't help it. It's in my genetics. I worry so much that it makes me physically ill.

Third-Sometimes I push myself to the brink of exhaustion. I want to be perfect and I want to have a fabulous future. I always fear that if I don't succeed, Chad won't want to be with me(this goes back to the second thing). I know he does and he only wants me to succeed too, but sometimes my mind tells me i'm not good enough for him.

Fourth-I love the rain, but only the hot rain. Like in the spring/summer when it's somewhat muggy outside...I LOVE THAT.

Fifth-My dad was 19 when he married my mom. She was 15 and pregnant. However, they got pregnant so my grandparents(my mom's parents) would let them get married. They've now been together for 28 years. My parents are still so in love, as well. They can get really lovey dovey and mushy sometimes.

Sixth-I went to Kauai, Hawaii in September. On my first day of vacation, which was also my first time at the beach in 10+ years, I was wading in the water and got stung. By what, you ask? By a "Japanese Man of War" AKA a Jelly fish. It wasn't anything awful. It just felt like someone poking me repeatedly with a bunch of needles. My grandpa offered to pee on me, but he'd just gone to the bathroom. Haha. Gross. Nice of him, but gross.

So, that's me. I'll be tagging Ash-Hole, Linds, and Jenna Bella.

GoodBye...♥

She Apologized.
I Couldn't Accept.
It Was Time To Say Goodbye.

I met this girl, we'll call her Kathy, through a friend of mine. We hit it off, became pretty close friends, and then she moved 300 miles away. I kept up with the friendship for a while. Kathy would always tell me that I wasn't a good friend because I never visited her. Visiting her wasn't the problem, money was.

She's lived there for almost 3 years now and i've seen her twice. If she ever needed a friend, i'd be here. She'd always text me and we'd talk about our lives, stresses, love and friendships.

One day last week, she sent me a text telling me her husband had thrown her into a wall three times and had bruised her kidney, liver and small intestine. Which, by the way, isn't really possible. I could be wrong, but I doubt it. So, I asked if she pressed charges on him. Her response was no. I said,"Well, that's your decision". I wasn't saying it to be rude, just trying to be supportive.

She pretty much just freaked out on me after that. Telling me i'm a horrible friend for not visiting her. She also said some very hurtful things about my boyfriend. I took it pretty well. Told her to stop her little pity party and such. Never once did I disrespect her or say anything hurtful.

Her last text: "All I did was tell u some info today i didn't complain or anything and you should talk suicide queen. Leave me alone unless u want a harassmfmt charge C*NT."

Now, i'm sorry, but that's so uncalled for.

Saturday night, I got a text saying "I'm sorry there are no excuses for my actions". She's right, there is no excuse. You just totally disrespected me, my boyfriend, and some of the other people I love, so i'm not sccepting an apology.

As far as I'm concerned, the friendship is dead. I hope Kathy has a great life, but it's not a life I want ANY part of.