Beginning To Breathe Again♥

So, with the good, comes the bad.

First, the good. I'm finally figuring out my communication problems, or lack thereof. I'm finally gaining my happy self back and it feels great. I've been making Chad so unhappy lately. All because, my attitude sucked and I was always on edge. Now, i'm changing it. When I first met him, I was SO happy and funny. Over the past few months, I lost that part in myself. I feel her inside and i'm pulling so hard for her to shine again, and she is starting to.

I found out that my uncle has liver cancer and his prognosis doesn't look too great. We know a little more information by the day, but it doesn't make it easier. He's such a great man, he's lived a great life. He's a catholic priest. He baptized me and performed my first communion. I always thought he'd be the one to perform my marriage ceremony, but now that's not looking feasible. He's older, and i'm focusing on all of the great things he's done and the lives he's changed. He's such a strong and courageous man.

I have 1 day and 21 minutes left at my job. Then, i'm on to starting my new one on Thursday. I'm excited, scared, nervous, and all around happy about starting a new one. People keep telling me how missed i'm going to be and I can't help but tear up when they do. This place has been my life since I was 19...that's 4 years. Now, I have a new place to call my work life. I really don't know how i've survived all of the things that have happened to me.

What I do know is that, 2008 is going to be great. It started out a little rough, but now, it's so promising and optimistic.

Alone, at my desk, crying.....

Tears of joy...are all that are coming from my eyes.

As of this morning, this is all I felt:

Last night, I came home to a flat tire, a nail got it. So, on top of the lack of money, I now have to worry how to pay for this tire. I still don't have a new job. AND every interview/resume response, didn't work out. I've been sinking into the dark hole of depression(explained in my last blog). I was beginning to be positive and happy. Then, my tire really just bursted my bubble.

As of 3 o'clock mountain time....I can't stop crying.

I received a phone call on a job i've been DYING to hear from. My initial phone interview went so well. So well that, I have an interview on TUESDAY. WOOT. then, I get an email from another employer for a great opportunity that I submitted my resume for THIS MORNING. I'll be interviewing with him on MONDAY. Last but not least, my dad took my tire in this afternoon and it was under warranty and replaced for FREE.

I now just feel so grateful that i've been patient. I can feel it paying off. The only tears I can muster are of pure bliss. Knowing that I am going to succeed and god...AND the power of my mind set are pushing me in the BEST of directions.


I say this now "All of my patience, hardwork, dedication, are paying off. I now get to CHOOSE what I WANT...NOT take WHAT I NEED".

I'll be commenting on all of the new posts from my fellow bloggers tomorrow.

Wishing you all well.

Happy New Year♥

Happy New Year everyone. We spent the New Year with Chad's brother, Lance and all of their friends. It was definitely the best new years of my life. I got to kiss him at midnight. Beginning this year with him. I'm so blessed to have my amazing family, friends, Chad, and Abigail.

Last year began rough, but ended with sheer happiness. I live with Chad now. We're building our future together. I made my first "Casa de Schouten" purchase this past weekend. I bought a lamp for our bedroom and blinds for the computer room.

Chad's made my life so wonderful from the moment he walked in. I don't know how i'd survive without him. At first, I knew I didn't want a relationship. The more I pushed the relationship away, the more we began to grow together. I still don't know how to understand or explain what happened. Mostly because, I don't know how we got to this place. All I know is,I have the best boyfriend and puppy, Abigail, in the whole world.

I've drifted from most of my friends, but the closest ones I have know I love them very much. They've been there for me and always will be. I appreciate them all so much.

Happy New Year to you all.